a day worth remembering...

3/11 is a special day worth remembering. something happened this day in last year (i.e.2004). something that i can't possibly forget if i choose not to (selective memory can sometimes bury things you wouldn't want to remember). in the exact same day last year, a best friend of mine died...i think i still remember how i received the message. actually the death is kind of expected...cause he had been having lung cancer for months. i am sure that i was in INTEC at that time, and i am pretty sure that i had a c++ class and was heading towards the computer lab next to the cafeteria. suddenly, the message tone of my phone rang. nothing dramatic (no premonition, no signs, no ominous feeling). the sender was another friend of mine, and she said that he had passed away...i wasn't shock. in fact my mind was blank. i think i felt more surprised when knowing that he had the disease a few months back, and the feeling was quite intense then, but at the moment i knew that i had lost a friend forever, i felt nothing. it was weird, but that's my feelings at that time...

i guess you won't know how important a friend is in your life until you've lost him. the days of laughter, of degrading each other (our favourtie pastime) and of neverending nonesense are history now. it was actually months after his death that i felt his absence...i think i won't be able to get another such close friend in my lifetime anymore. such notion is almost a fact considering i m growing up, and being a grown up means that you need to deal with the pretentious world. no more pure friendships, no more simple motives. all i can see now is masquerades, and i think sometimes i cannot be so demanding. it's not people's fault for masking themselves in various disguises. i believe there is a need for doing that, and even they themselves are sometimes confused with their own identity. i think i have lost my true self in this world too...

i think i should cut the philosophical (in other words, vague and pointless) part now. but losing him make me realize how fortunate i am to have a chance to live in this world. WH, your spirit will rest inside us forever..we won't forget your laughter, your jokes, and the happiness you brought to this world. may you rest in peace.