Friday, April 07, 2006

Random thoughts

I guess it’s about time to think what I really want in my life. At this point, the mundane routine of my life makes me wonder aloud: why am I doing all these things? All the studies, working, and attempts to excel in every aspect of my life, where are all these leading to? Of course I can answer that; the apparent goal is to get a good job that will bring me loads of money so that I can enjoy my life in the future.

However, such notion is the exact thing that makes me feel sad. I’m in a system that tells me that this will be the ideal life. I will be happy if I can have tones of money, big circle of friends and a nice family. Will I? I do not really know, but knowing that this is the very same goal that millions of people on this planet pursue disturbs me. I somehow feel that we are no different that an army of ants which works incessantly to gather and store food as if such behavior is determined by an invisible and sickeningly cruel force.

I can see where this is leading to: religion. But as always, I am not inclined to discuss it as I feel that religion is something devised by someone wise and kind to cure the fear, uneasiness, loneliness and void in every soul. Maybe I should just be simple and stop squeezing myself into the tip of a bull’s horn (Chinese proverb).

(another voice in my head: EEENNNNOUGGHH!!!!!! Will you stop all these bullcr@p and GET YOUR ASS BACK TO YOUR TERM PAPER? f~!@#$%)